美麗

要有吸引人的雙唇，請說好意的話。

要有美麗的雙眼，請尋索他人的優點。

要有纖細的身材，請與飢民分享妳的食物。

要有亮麗的秀髮，請讓小孩每日觸摸妳的頭髮。

要有自信的態度，要學習妳不曾學過的東西。

- 柯德莉夏萍

沒有比這更遙遠的角落

台灣 - 這遙遠的名字!!

一切準備就緒、卻只差了一點 ... 有一些阻隔, 不是航機,油輪可以越過的。國籍, 身份, 背景, 時機...把兩岸分隔的距離, 拉得很遠。簡單的期盼, 一下子掉進了失望的旋渦中...

突然想起一部老片"滾滾紅塵"。大事代中的愛情故事 - 情感的起落,穿插於時代的波折中。那一份寡言的愛,卻竟然突破了這歷史的筑籬, 在遙遙歲月裡, 緊緊地把兩個各在彼岸的心繫在一起 ...

唉,又響起"國境之南"...

久違了，網誌

假期, 終於開始了。

沒有期待中的興奮, 畢竟, 還是一個人的假期。或許應該讓封塵已久的人脈關係再現生機。生疏了的脈胳, 不能撐多久了...

生命這掀不完的繪本,不翻過這一頁,是看不見下一頁的。 但下一頁, 卻未必想見...

突然想多聽一點故事, 不同的人事,不同的際遇。眼淚,歡笑,相聚,相分... 對著鏡子太久了, 該是時侯把窗廉子打開, 讓生命說它要說的話。

中秋如此多Fun

12樓天台看煙花
奇特黑夜攝影
專人示範制作花式燈籠
法式美食
...

Tonite, we have a very special BSF gathering, no lectures, no questions and answers session, BSF becomes brothers and sisters fun gathering ... Frankly if tmr were a holiday we would have more fun lighting the lantern and hanging out on the roof for a wonderful MOON nite.

Wow - my first Mid Autumn Festival in HK since 1999 !!! Can't wait for the pics to come through ...

标杆人生

"我的存在不是偶然，我的存在是你主宰； 我的生命是你的期待，因我是你的真愛。"
~ 标杆人生

Really like the lyrics. It somehow echoes the ending of chapter 1 of the book we are reading "Run with the horses" -

"It is unlikely, I think, that Jeremiah was spontaneous or quick in his reply to God's question. The ecstatic ideals for a new life had been splattered with the world's cynicism ... He weighed the options. He counted the cost. He tossed and turned in hesitation. The response when it came was not verbal but biographical. HIS LIFE BECAME HIS ANSWER, " I'll run with the horses" " - Eugene H. Peterson

yes indeed God didn't call us to do easy things, but to do the "right" things ...

是愛 II

「這樣說來、愛就是謙遜地學習完完全全的接納對方，在接納中不斷發掘彼此的美麗，包容彼此的軟弱，光照彼此的幽暗，左掙扎中互相琢磨，醫冶，成長，這就是愛ｏ」 --- 情難捨 (霍王蓮)

是愛

Juz had an interesting discussion with some friends about sex ... thought the following may give us some insights:

"...而“做”出來的“愛”又迷惑了人，似乎在那短暫的過程中，寂寞者已接近天堂。於是“聰明人”肉体上了床，同時就把沉重、複雜的心靈渴望丟在床下──卻也就此和那因沉重而深厚、因等待而珍貴的愛情，擦肩而過了。"


"這個世界上，真正使人心滿足的是愛，人性最深的訴求也是愛。若沒有真正的愛，性便成為一個掉了底的盒子，那渴望把自己最寶貝的歡樂寄存在盒子裡面的人，最終會失望地發現所託非物。"

--- 海外校園 > 第九十六期（2009-08） > 性自由的哀思

當心情極壞時...

竟然沒有心情發脾氣... 只想像貝殼般緊緊地把自己關起來...外面是風和日麗,是狂風暴雨, 也不想里會...

"壞透頂" - 當透了頂以後, 原來是無頂的黑洞...

chaw 墨魚

第一次 chaw 墨魚的經驗很特別 --- 除了因為是下雨天,也是因為有機會跟一些第一次見面的朋友有一點交流ｏ

幾位年輕人(male)在密雲的晚上竟然談到教會裡找不到女朋友的問題 (當時有一個衝動把他們送到Seattle ... 他們才會知道什麼是... )ｏ雖然最後因時間關係沒有很深入的討論, 但卻讓人想到在大燈下的墨魚群ｏ我想墨魚的世界是有點悲劇性ｏ吸引牠們的,不一定為牠們帶來好處ｏ以為找到了，卻是痛苦的開始ｏ在感情的世界裡, 單靠觸覺(對男人而言,可能只有視覺)的尋找,往往讓關係成為利鈞下的犧牲品...

在每天下班的大巴上, 總會看到銅羅彎SOGO附近的墨魚群ｏ他們朝著誘人的光線在急速舞動 ... 有衝著金錢的,有衝著品牌的,有衝著享受的... 彷彿聽到聲音說:"很容易就 chaw 到!"

掠影

大半年了, 生活的軌跡像高速火車上後退的畫面,來不及思想,沒餘暇細看... 給擠到邊上的思緒空間層疊著久未開封的生活點滴ｏ開始討厭緩慢的電梯,舖天蓋地的菲/印傭,和永遠在趕時間才亮起的紅燈... 還記得在微涼的季節，禮拜五晚上紅碪火車站附近行人天橋上用二胡奏的"啼笑姻緣" ... 當時停下了腳步,今天卻忽忽地走過... 友人問 am I getting closer to God? 一時惘然ｏ

但感恩的事，實在很多ｏ在這裡的弟兄姊妹，也很有意思ｏ這是一個非一般的社會,締造出一個又一個非凡的故事... 生命，還是要煉出來.

這一段,色彩斑爛,有一點目眩ｏ

Prayer meeting

第一次參加這裡的祈禱會,感覺很特別ｏ大堂裡差不多有五百位以上的弟兄姊妹 - 我想應該是我所參與的祈禱會中最多人的一個ｏ當我在點算著人數時,發現 what impressed me is not the number of people, but the number of hearts that are so open to God and the number of souls that are so hungry for His presence. They are people who long for Him (not juz His blessings, but God himself). 當牧師邀請有感動的弟兄姊妹到台前禱告時, there are many b/s who walked up to the altar despite the fact that they are sitting in the middle of the row and by walking to the front they need to squeeze through those people sitting on the side ... 在旁的一位姊妹雖然五音不全,但她很用心唱每一首詩歌, 用她有的敬拜上帝ｏI think it is very amazed that everyone juz come as they are when worshipping God, and suddenly it feels very much like a family because we are juz who we are at home and know that we are accepted not becoz we are good, but God is good.

And there are mini prayer groups in the main hall when I walked out of the building after the prayer mtg ended officially. The whole place was juz so prayerful ...

Shouldn't this be what a prayer mtg should be?

日久失修

這個blog 和最近的身體健康一樣 - 日久失修

渴望有暑假,更渴望每天(而不時每半天) 八小時工作 ...

部落格的空白,也許意味著很多錯落了觸覺,遣忘了的感動ｏ大半年的光境裡, 剩下疲累ｏ

Dream job? yeah .... retired lor ...

週五晚上

週五晚上, 新朋友心情有點恍然... 不想多說話. 在人潮車海中追追趕趕,終於在八時多到了紅碪附近一間教會. 這裡的特色是---作為新朋友,可以不必多說話.雖然在不大的房間裡面有很多弟兄姊妹, 但置身其中,新朋友只是一名安靜的觀眾,在舞臺上一個不起眼的角落,細閱一個一個陌生而殘碎的劇本. 這舞臺, 只屬於這裡的人. 觀眾的參與,只停留在視覺和聽覺上. 這裡的言談歡笑, 在新朋友心裡沒有留下什麼印像---畢竟,牆是兩面的,新朋友又可曾在這人堆中真實停留過？終於明白, 陌生, 到底是什麼一回事.

聚會結束了, 當大家都忙箸收拾椅子, 聖經, 筆記, 投影, 紙張... 心靈的碎片,卻散落處處, 在清潔明澄的房間裡, 慢慢地褪色...

週五晚上, 罔然的感覺充斥在商場大堂裡的每一個角落,無論走到那裡,這空盪盪的情緒,總是讓新朋友的步伐越走越慢. 對新朋友而言, 這裡的溫度,實在太低了...

未來,未知的將來

"我 知 道 　 神 一 切 所 作 的 、 都 必 永 存 、 無 所 增 添 、 無 所 減 少 ． 　 神 這 樣 行 、 是 要 人 在 他 面 前 存 敬 畏 的 心 。"

Not knowing the future helps us to stand in awe before Him, and that we need to have faith ...

朋友話 ...

"我地夫婦關係巳經熟稔到不能在外表上看出男女的分別 ..."

此一劃時代的發展已引發社會各階層以及各友好的強烈迥響 - 在各界關注事態發展的同時, 誚密切留意本台"友話說"頻道 ...

駐南丫島記者 周圍暢 報道

孩子心事

Saturday, misty and rainy. I was on my way to a friend's place. Waiting to get off MTR at North point, I noticed this very cute little girl. She is about 1-2 yrs and she was sitting on the lap of her mom. Everything went well until all of a sudden her mom yelled and put her little girl away from her ... guess what, that little cute girl just peed on her mom ... while everyone tried to clean up the place (you know inside MTR, unlike in some buses with carpet seats, liquid doesn't disappear easily) the little girl in a little skirt was surrounded by adults ... she was kind of upset and scared ... and all of a sudden she cried out "爸爸抱抱" ...

Her dad did hesitate ... and the little girl did insist. I wish I could take a picture of it. With her begging her dad finally pick her up and 抱在懷中. I can easily understand his hesitations, especially if they are going to dine somewhere or if there are lots of events afterwards. Carrying the smell around might not be a good idea. I can understand the little girl too - what could be better than "hide in His wings among storms and waves".

I am glad that our Heavenly Father will pick us up no matter how dirty we are. In fact He revealed His love when we are the dirtiest to Him - remember He definitely doesn't like sins, more than the way we dislike smelly body discharge ... but He took that away and accept us the way we are.

Kids are God's special agents to teach us about Heavenly love. And we never know when they are going to start the lesson ... and when does it end.

在地鐵車箱裡, 也可以是愛的舞台.

Buggy blogger ...

Sounds like it is time to migrate to yet another blogging platform ... this is really sad - where are all my formatting???

As many life lessons would have taught us: what you see is not what you get. Be ready for any surprises.

...

我的天堂　讓我充滿讚美　
我的天堂　只要演好自己　
我的天堂　相信奇蹟　
我的天堂　為別人捨命
　
我的天堂　再沒流淚哭泣　
我的天堂　處處充滿愛慕　
我的天堂　給我幸福　
平安喜樂　在我的天堂

....

- 我的天堂
(讚美之泉敬拜讚美專輯13
曲:游智婷 詞:曹立德)

The Shack

Got this book today ... Skimming through the book, I like the fact that there is a "golden nugget" at the beginning of each chapter. Here is one of those:

"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets" by Paul Tournier

It should be a very meaningful journey reading this book ...

多走一哩路 - 尾篇

This trip is an eye-opener for me in many areas. I didn't expect this trip to be so different from that of last year. It changed the way I look at people, it changed the way I look the impacts of this earthquake, it changed the way I think Chinese people should be helped and counseled, it gave me a new understanding of Chinese home church and field workers, it unveiled many beautiful and nasty stories happened in China, it helped me to feel a little bit of God's heart, it opened my eyes to see God's mercy in this place, it opened up my heart to accept those who spit, smoke, swear, steal and this trip taught me to love those 不起眼的臉孔 and to serve without 掌聲.

I will live once and only once. For the rest of my days I won't live even a moment twice. God seems to be speaking to me through this trip that what it matters is to make every moment count (to Him). I am not sure what 2009 has in store for me, but I am sure there is only ONE 2009 in my life.

Lastly, I want to thank my teammates. They are wonderful. And they gave me the best Christmas gift I'd ever had - through the aroma of their lives. I really enjoy their company. Being said, it doesn't mean all the times when we are together we are happy and excited. There are times when we have different opinions, there are times when we don't argee with each other, there are times when we'd ignored the needs of others, there are times when we don't know if we'd hurt anyone emotionally, spiritually, verbally ... but what it means by unity is not we all behave and think the same way. It is just the opposite. We are united to release the J power despite all the differences in each one of us. We don't need to unite if we are all the same. The most amazing thing about this team is each of us just 活出我們裡面的生命,真正的自己, I think being genuine and at the same time being respectful has more impacts on the people we meet and interact than giving them lots of money, chocolate, candies ... after all it is our characters and life that God would like to use to channel His love and impacts to those who may not have any idea about "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly"

Short term mission trip only lasted a week or two, but God's work 仍然在繼續. Let us pray and look forward to His glory in this country.





P.S. about short term mission:

In this trip we met some long term field workers and M in close by areas. Talking to them reminded me of some important facts about going on a STST. First of all, it is short term! Meaning that we know we are going to be out of there shortly. We don't need to worry about our financial situations (for those who have a day time job), we know we are going to have showers anyway when we get back to hotels or back to US, we don't have to deal with those long term complicated interactions with local workers/teachers or even gov officials (it could become very tricky), we play the role of good cops when are with the children (we don't need to do the punishment part! For the local teachers ... hmm, u know the answer), we don't live in the tents or with the villagers and most importantly we have a close community of the same faith and goals (at least during the trip) with us to spend this 2 weeks together ... For the team from Beijing, they live with the villagers, away from their families, quit their jobs in the cities, co-work with the local field workers and teachers ... if it is not the love of God, I can't think of other reasons. I really 佩服他們,也感謝神川流不息的愛. 他們獻的祭, is just like what Paul talked about "presenting your bodies a living and holy sacrifice ..." (Romans 12:1)

Hope our presence can be of some support and encouragement to them. And may God bless them and their families, 他們的現在,和他們的將來. And really hope to see them the next time we visit this area ...

多走一哩路 - 家篇

Interestingly the only home visit I did during the trip wasn't in 板房. We started off by walking around in the 板房 area and just greet everyone we met on the way and we invited them to the Christmas program. We met an elderly lady who basically can only speak SiChuan 話. Her grandchild is so cute but there is always 兩行 yellowish 鼻水 from her nose. After chatting for a while she invited us to her home (instead of us asking to visit her ...). So that is great and we went together to her place. Slowly she took us out of 板房 to an area just next to 板房. That area is basically a construction site. We walked through rocks and bricks and arrived in an area where some workers are working on building a house. They lived in some sort of shelters built by some woods and 帆布. Their "bedroom" (of coz there are no doors) and living room are basically outdoor. It is freezing outside and I can't imagine how can they sleep at nite (and how about when it rains? when it snows?) There are 9 people living in the shelter area including 2 elder woman and a little kid. We talked a little bit about why she didn't get to live in 板房 and how are they going to survive the winter etc. Again 正如香港的一些社會問題，背後總有很多複雜的因素. This family (like many others living outside 板房) took the options to stay away from 板房 to get a few thousand dollars back so they can rebuild their house in the same location. I am not sure if those living in 板房 don't have the option to rebuild their houses? Language is a barrier indeed, I can only understand about 30% of what they said. And most of the villagers don't speak Mandarin. I had this feeling of 無奈 during the whole visit. The kids, the elderly, the people there definitely have needs that are not met in any magnitude. The kids might be sick and they don't have the right medications, the living condition is much worse than 天橋底. And worse of all I am not sure if these people have enough knowledge (personal hygiene, public health, childcare etc.) and resources to take care of themselves. We saw meat being exposed outside for long time, power cables all over the place, waste water or matters were disposed improperly ... and they don't seem to wash their hands very often. When we walked over to a location a few blocks away to distribute the comforters, we saw some of the houses being rebuilt using bricks again (what if there are aftershocks?) and we wonder why? It occurred to me that 中國農村的貧窮落後本來就一直存在, this earthquake just opened up a window for the people outside to realize 中國農村的生活面貌. And actually this earthquake also exposed and probably intensified many long lasting issues and problems that has been developing in the chinese rural areas.

行筆至此,想到那些在這裹長期服事的弟兄姊妹, I really appreciate their hearts for the people here and the courage and determination they have for not just bringing short term workarounds for the problems here, but also the long term rebuilding of the people in this area, rebuilding the society, helping them to know God and worship him, educating them to live according to His good wills. Looking around that area when we left, I thought of the valley of dry bones described in Eziekel 37. "I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD." For those long term field workers, you are all in my prayers! Add oil!

Later on we had chances to visit other non-板房 villages and realized that 板房 area is a 豪華區. We met children from those villages and deep in my heart I wish they will have chances to know the faith we have and the plans God has for them before they moved out of the village and join the workforce in the cities, before they are challenged and tempted by 城市的紙醉金迷，燈紅酒綠. It will be harder to reach out to them when they are in the cities ... they will be taught and shaped by this world. If we don't seize the opportunities, this world will.

多走一哩路 - 行篇

We went on hiking to some villages up in the mountain on the boxing day and we hoped to distribute some packaged gifts to the villagers. It was a very nice day and most of us wore too much. One of our member wore 3 pants and 5 layers of clothes!! My bad I did expect a very cold day and told my roommate to prepare for a skiing weather. It turned out to be sunny and dry. This was the first time I hiked in China and we had a chance to take a closer look to the damages caused by all these "離石流".

On our way we met some people and we gave gifts to those "approved" by the local guide - she was an elderly woman who has relatives living in those areas. Though she is the oldest among us, she had no problems hiking those unnoticeable trails and she is so skillful that she even carried some of our backpacks. It was a nice hike and we were just so close to those landslide sites that an aftershock could send us to heaven. The weather was very good in the morning and we met some elderly people and a little girl on our way(surprisingly there are still people living in that area). To our dismay that little girl doesn't want to go to school. Not sure what are the reasons behind, but she is shy and seldom talk and I think she really needs to get in touch with other children at her age so she can have a healthy childhood and emotional/relational growth/development. At least she needs to learn Mandarin!!! We tried hard to encourage her and her family (her dad?) to go back to school but due to language barriers and may be other reasons they don't seem to be convinced by what we said. I wasn't quite surprised by the fact that there are children in China not being educated. But I was surprised how hard it is to encourage them to get education - or just get in touch with other people. What a pity it is? she survived the earthquake and she has a lot of potentials in the future! At times I have the feeling that there is so little we can do - and we are so 無能為力 about helping this people. The story about this little girl is just one the many stories in China. When we sat down for lunch, I was told to just leave our plastic bags anywhere we want in the mountain. I was puzzled and confused and started to realized why there are so many trash when we hiked up (though there are not many people living here). Villagers living here probably don't know what harm it caused by leaving behind these non biodegradable materials in the mountain. And again this may be just one of those important things they need to know about being environmental friendly. On the way to another village in the mountain area, I was so strongly convinced that it is not materials that they need it the most, and issues in China (whether it is about faith or in general) will not be resolved by monetary resources. More counseling and social work resources are needed. More godly influence is needed. More Christians are needed to walk with the locals, to pray for them, to teach them to live their lives to the fullest and what is and is not pleasing to God.

This hiking trip was a very inspirational one. We didn't do a lot to help out these people and actually we didn't meet a lot of people. But just like the story of the old man picking up starfish and throwing them back to the sea, it matters to the one whom we met and talked. And this is why were there. I'd never been so close to villages in China. And this was a close contact with the people there. Other first in a life time experience includes riding back home on a 電動三輪車. We had 9 people in that small wagon and we sang along the way (on the high way actually ...).

And can anyone help me remember the song "青青的河水喲，何時才停流 ..." ?

On a related thought, China is strong now in terms of foreign currency reserve and its economic growth. More Chinese people is moving to the middle class and at the same time poverty and wealthiness is also polarizing the society. But what bothers me is not the financial strength (or weakness) that could corrupt the people or government, it is the lack of a divine value system, a character that corresponds to the creator of human being. From rich people to poor people, the deficiency of this significant element is bringing the country to a bankruptcy of integrity/spirituality/characters ... I just feel the whole country needs education, needs to believe the right thing and stop doing things that hurt themselves (and others). Disasters don't necessarily come from financial incapability, but more often they are consequences of ignorance, greediness, hatred and angers. More fundamental changes need to take place in China. I am very shocked and concerned about the fact that children in China may not be getting the "right" education - broken characters and values are slowly developed in the life of these children. And while I am writing this, the image of that little girl who still live in the mountain constantly reminds me of the situation in China. The theme for Obama's presidential campaign applies nicely to China - change! China will be a country of super power not by charisma and wealth, but by characters and wisdom. China will walk out from poverty, not by acquiring more, but by retaining less. I agree with Obama that it is the faith and virtue that build up a country and the people. China needs changes as much as US does.

多走一哩路 - 祭篇

I was lucky enough to be assigned to lead singspiration during the Christmas eve event. Leading singspiration doesn't seem to be a big deal and I thought it is just a piece of cake. However God had a lesson for me. It turned out to be one of the most challenging singspiration I'd ever done. First of all we need to type the songs out so people can see it on the screen. Thank God we have Kristy who is really good at typing Chinese (though a local boy complained about her Chinese ...). Then I need to find a musician. And sister L was able to help out. So we are ready to go - I was quite confident that things were in control - until two hours before the evening program started. To accommodate more people, they (who?) decided to make it an outdoor event. Remember outdoor the temperature is about 1-2 C at nite. So they bought some charcoals and branches and started the fire - an hour and a half before the meeting is supposed to start. What added to the mess is the projector won't be available until 30 mins before the official starting time. People came early (because of the fire?) and started to gather around those hot spots. It doesn't take long until that area (that is an area between 4 板房) was packed with people - and we still didn't have the projector!! The challenge is there is about 45 mins to kill ... and we are told to start singing something without the projector and the keyboard.

Oh talking about the keyboard, since we moved to an outside area I thought it won't be possible to use the keyboard, but in fact the workers there managed to connect couple power cords and connection cables to supply power for the light bulb, the laptop, the speakers, the projector and the keyboard. There were so many people that for couple times the electricity was disconnected because people may just have kicked the plug or stretched the cables so the connection was lost. And there were motorcycles passing through the crowd of people and kids running around. That is the most electrically "dangerous" setting I'd ever seen. There was one time when the table fell and some of the speakers dropped. Luckily the laptop was fine. I am so thankful that this sister did bring her laptop which comes very handy when there are needs of any word processing, music generation, storing pictures/videos etc.

Anyhow we started singing some songs but after a few songs we don't know what to sing (and there are still at least 15 mins to go). Teacher C suggested us to start earlier but at the same time we just got the projector and need to hook it up to the laptop. Double challenges came when our laptop didn't work with that projector. We will need the laptop from teacher L ... So teacher C started to lead the congregation to sing Chinese worship songs. No lyrics because they all know how to sing those songs. He is very good in leading the crowd to sing and dance. He is the type of song leader that is full of energy and knows when to start and stop (and talk). His voice is very good actually (at least he can lead without loud speaker). One song we sang repeatedly is "雲上太陽" from SOP. At times I think this song means a lot to them because most of the time it is cloudy and gloomy in SiChuan. And it could be rainy during the winter. To be honest I was quite confused about the details of the christmas eve programme. I was told to give 5 mins of the singspiration time to the field workers and they are going to perform a traditional dance with christian song. However it wasn't until the last minute (yes, very last minute when I was about to do the singspiration) that I was told the dance will be performed after Peter's talk. At the same time I can sense (am I too sensitive?) some disappointments from the field workers when they schedule were changed (without being noticed ahead of time). I was actually quite puzzled about how things work in this area regarding organizing an event such as Christmas eve gathering. They don't seem to have agreed ahead of time about the ave, the time and the details. And everything seems to be so ad hoc. This is very different from what we (from HK or US) usually do at our home church. Are we too organized and not following the flow or are they being too randomized?

But that night Peter's message is wonderful. Not only because of the contents but also the way he spoke - practically he was shouting to the crowd. There were no microphones or loud speakers. When I was leading the singspiration, people kept asking me to speak up but I couldn't, my voice is so weak and at the end of it I gave up and just started talking normally. And I know how hard it is to speak to the crowd (at least 100 people) in the open area. Peter kept talking for 40ish minutes and at the end his voice cracked. I started to understand what is serving - leave nothing for the Lord and ask nothing for oneself (為己無所求，為主無所留). I wished I'd video taped the whole speech(did someone taped it?). This also reminded me of Jesus talking to the crowd before the miracle of 5 breads 2 fish. I'd never asked the question why he didn't need a mic or loud speaker or someone to do sign language for the deaf. Consider He was talking to thousands of people in an wild open area!! The local people usually can sing very loud and how did they do it? People living in the villages usually talk to each other in the mountains ... across a river, or a valley. They are so used to "yelling" at each other.

I forgot exactly how it ended, but after eating a birthday cake (for Jesus!) we sat around those bowls of heat and just talked randomly. It is a good way to communicate to each other and know the villagers. Too bad they speak SiChuan diag most of the time. The "Chi Fun" was very cozy though, I wish there was some hot drink, hot chocolate/latte ... Starbucks should consider setting up branches here in XY ...

Finally we went back to the inn and everyone was exhausted. I was kind of sick that day (too cold at night) and thank God for healing me over that night so I was able to continue my journey until we arrived CD (then I was very sick ^.^)

多走一哩路 - 美篇

There is a noodle store (刀削麵) close by to where we stayed. On one day when we were having lunch with the field workers, there came a little boy and his father, sitting just behind us. The father was yelling SiChuan dialogue and the boy, with his head down, was standing there and his body shaking in the cold. Obviously the father is blaming the boy ... For some reasons the boy only wore a sweater and it was damp. The father was really loud and caught the attentions of other people either on the street or in the store. We have no idea what the father was yelling about and why he was so angry. This is a very typical Chinese family "internal issue" that outsiders shouldn't bother (各家自掃門前雪). I had the same thought in the beginning and frankly I didn't plan to do anything about it. It lasted for a while and the situation didn't seem to be resolving by itself. I went over and see if I can be of any help while our team lead and a field worker started to talk to the father. The boy's sweater and pants were all damp. Some of us made the guess that he was in great fear and peed while standing. I had no idea about what had happened but one thing for sure was the boy must be very upset and scared. He didn't say anything during the whole time. I finally bought him a 波板糖 while another team member bought him a new set of pants. One team member actually went over to the child and tried to comfort him and she discovered some scraped areas behind the boy's left ear. She started to treat him with medications and hug him from the back. This picture reminded me of how Jesus healed people by touching them, even in the situation when those people were not "touchable" (leprosy). I was so touched by the compassion of that team member and how genuine it is. I would have never thought of giving the boy a hug or buying him clothes or other necessities. I guess many of the people in the noodle store were also shocked by what we did. Just like myself, many Chinese people grow up in a society that provokes 不要多管閒事. We are so OK about bad things happening as long as they don't happen to us. This kind of mentality is like genetic characteristics that got carried over from generations to generations. Thanks to the sister that brought up this fact that if we don't do something to break the chain, these types of things are going to happen again and again. This "culture" is bad. This is not godly and not pleasing to God. It strike me that how true it is in the scripture Roman 1:19-25 which talks about sinners. Thank God for showing me His love through this wonderful sister. I was so slow to love and to observe the needs of others. I wish I can be more compassionate!

Finally we figured out that the boy was caught by his dad skipping classes and playing with other children in the river. Definitely the boy hasn't been a good kid. However I think there is a better way to encourage and motivate a child to get on to the right track. Again it all boils down to a social problem which has a scope big enough that we are not able to address or to resolve. May God have mercy and heal this place.

There are other beautiful moments - including those moments we spent with the kids ^_^... and those moments when laughter and tears encourage each other, when some SiChuan words and sentences finally make sense to us, when the locals know how to sing "God is so good" (in English!) and when our hearts beat for Jesus ... maybe the beauty of life is just found in these simple moments when our hearts echo with that of God ^.^

多走一哩路 - 震篇

On the second day of our arrival we had a chance to go to "陳家B" - a village that was devastated by the earthquake. We went to a supermarket the day before and thought that we could buy some oil for the villagers. It turned out to be a non trivial task for the team and teacher L. The reason is very simple. With the plan to buy over hundred bottles of oil, we practically empty the oil stock of that supermarket. We spent a few hours sorting out all the details and finally got all the oil we needed. However the store manager was so stressed out that she actually shed tears when we were done shopping ... I don't know what exactly happened but at that moment I felt weird because it looked like we'd caused trouble to the workers and the manager in the store ... I wish we did spend some time to talk to the manager to at least understand her feelings.

We arrived CJB that day but somehow there seemed to be some changes to the original arrangement and we needed to wait for people to come for the oil delivery. And I was told that there could actually be corruption in terms of delivering resources. So we really want to deliver the materials face to face instead of going through the middle men. However it was easier said than done since we are not familiar to the area and we don't speak the language so it is hard to not rely on the local people. It is really sad that there are still corruptions at times when they should help each other instead of being selfish. Might be this is the real disaster ...

On the second day we decided to visit 北川. After 3 hours bumpy ride we arrived BC. The ride was really bumpy. I hit my head and shoulder couple times and even my internal organs can feel the shocks. Teacher C sat next to me and for most of the time he enjoyed singing hymns by himself and seldom talked to us. I tried to start some conversations but he didn't seem to understand my mandarin and I didn't quite get what he said because of his 河南 Putonghua.

When we finally arrived the place, we were stopped by the army. We were told that the area is now a restricted area and nobody (at least cars) is allowed to be in that area. After some conversations (I was amazed by how teacher T did that) we were allowed to enter that area (only for a while) with our cars outside the gate and only for a while. So we quickly walked in the ruined village and thought we should be back shortly. However we were all taken aback by what we saw along the way. And we started to slowed down. The whole scene is just like one of those nightmares that we were among fallen buildings and broken bridges but we couldn't do anything about it. There is one building with the whole first floor collapsed vertically into the ground and that building is now one floor less!! there are buildings tilted with such an angle that I think with a slight touch they are all going to fall.

At that moment I just felt death is so close. This place is just lifeless. There are buildings that are totally covered up by sands and mud and I think so are the people inside. I am not sure how many of the people who died in the earthquake actually heard of the gospel. And I am not sure how many of them are believers. However for those who hadn't seized the chance to turn to Christ are dead eternally. "When you are not certain what will take place tomorrow. What is your life? It is a mist, which is seen for a little time and then is gone" (James 4:14). Very much like the financial tsunami, it all happened in a blink of an eye. Many of the furniture and household stuff inside those apartments were still there as if the earthquake just happened yesterday. They were just frozen there. Everyone had heavy feelings and we all walked slowly to a place that buried over tens of thousands of bodies. We said a short prayer there. Many cried and especially for those field workers from areas close by it was very hard for them to stay calm. I just remember that I didn't say a word on my way back to the gate. I don't even want to take more pics or videos (though I was supposed to since I was the camera man). I was thinking what is the significance of being able to get by the security line and to witness the impacts of the earthquake. How did God feel for the whole thing? Was God indifferent about all the loss of lives and souls? There were two thoughts: "If you, then, being evil, are able to give good things to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who make requests to him?" (Matthew 7:11) Our Heavenly father must be heart-broken as well, and in a greater magnitude. Suddenly I remember Jesus wept over the death of Lazarus. Our God is full of emotions and His will is never to destroy but to build. We were there, standing on top of the rubble and bricks and buried bodies, not to just feel the pain of the victims and their families, but also the heart of Jesus. Not to just mourn over the sorrowful past but to strike for a joyful future. Not to focus on the dead but to concentrate on the survivors. To me it seems that God was trying to convey the message that we are part of this plan, we are invited to feel His passion (and pain) over the people and to be involved in His work in China.

My second thought is "And the rain came down and there was a rush of waters and the winds were driving against that house; and it came down and great was its fall." (Matthew 7:27) Yes all the houses and schools fell with great crashes!! Many lives wouldn't be perished if these buildings were built with honesty, faithfulness, the fear of God ... This is a lesson for all of us, not just those who are in the business of building home/church/school. We are in one way or the other creating disasters for others (and ourselves) if we are greedy, selfish, careless, 得過且過,因循苟且 ... In His eyes, we are all entrusted to give Him the best at work, at home, in school etc. Don't be lukewarm water!!

I don't remember what happened for the rest of the day ... It must be a 3 hours bumpy ride back ... oh actually we came across more broken bridges and buried villages ...

多走一哩路 -人篇

Without 人 it is meaningless from the very beginning, so let me recall some of the people I met during this trip that provokes some thoughts in many different ways.

1. Teacher L was the first local field workers that we met in our trip. While eating刀削 Noodle around the corner of the inn we stayed (for 7 days), I was lucky enough to learn how he came from 河南 to SiChuan and his stories of getting married and their plan to serve in a remote village of Tang. Everyone can easily feel his passions and compassion for the people there. What surprised me (also) is how simple it is for this couple to make the decision of spending their early stage of marriage serving in a remote village. To me, getting to live with a totally different person is a lot of adjustments and challenges by itself. Having to deal with the difficulties of living in a tough environment and starting a ministry takes even more energy and perseverance. But this could also be how the relationship grows and be enriched - we learn more during difficult times. And for sure they are in our prayers. At times I would think we have too much complexity in our relationship/marriage matters, why not make it simpler? It is actually a blessing for them - they have the same mission and passion and God put them together for His purpose. It is just this "simple" ^.^

I wish I'll have opportunities to visit them again in the near future. They are so nice and simple (actually teacher L is quite amusing). L owns a motorcycle and he taught us how to ride a motorcycle (with great patience) and let us use his motorcycle! And he is so generous that at the meal in Teacher C's place, he gave me lot of food from those dishes that are probably too spicy for me (though to them it is not even spicy!)




2. Teacher C is the man who connects most of the other workers. At the beginning I didn't really recognize him and his wife until he came over to visit us at the inn. The impressions I have for him is exactly those in "the cross" DVD. A typical leader in a local house church, someone who can sing many songs without looking at the lyrics, someone who memorize many biblical scriptures and someone who has the charisma to connect not only brothers and sisters but also people from different walks of life (like the heads of different villages, drivers, etc.). Frankly I didn't know much about him. Somehow it is not a piece of cake to go deeper in our conversations. His communication style is totally different from that of teacher L (who is easy to talk to). I recalled there was a 3 hours ride to 北川 and we were sitting next to each other at the back of the 麵包車. But we didn't talk much. Partially because I couldn't pick up some of the non-Mandarin accent (there is Mandarin accent?) and partially because the ride was too bumpy. I was trying to know more about the house church in the SY village but I guess either I didn't ask the right questions or he didn't quite get what I tried to figure out. As far as I know, looks like most of the field workers or other workers know him and were in certain extend connected through him.

3. Teacher L (another teacher with L as the first character of his last name, u know who I am talking about) also works with the field workers and teacher C. He is the kind of person who speaks less and works more. He is very serious and I don't remember if he'd ever laughed out loud while we were there. But when it comes to helping out, he is definitely the person to go to. Somehow our laptop doesn't work well with the projector and at least for a couple of times we needed his laptop and other equipments to be set up (like the sound system, the connection cables ...). He was very helpful indeed. And I wonder how he can manage to wear so little under this cold weather (he wore a suit most of the time). But again I couldn't get to know him more as our conversations usually stop at some informational level and there were just so many people around and they needed to talk to him ... All in all he gave me an impression that his work is to the Lord, not to the men. And I really appreciate this attitude.

4. Field workers - there are 4 to 5 of them. If I remember correctly all of them are from the "A School" (still haven't figured out where to get more information about this school). Most of them committed to spend a year in this village or other areas before they return to the school. This could be a kind of internship from the school requirements (or volunteers?). They lived in the 板房 with the rest of the villagers and from what I observed they mingled very well with the children and the villagers. To find one of them, you just need to ask whoever living in the village and they know who you are talking about and oftentimes they were able to locate them. I admire their ability to serve in so many different areas - cooking, taking care of children, decorating, dancing, singing, providing music (piano and guitar!!!) and maybe some other behind the scene types of work. And they are so young (most of them are around 20). And serving is their "career" goal. One of them shared that she would like to learn more new skills and knowledge so she can serve better in the future. All these young people smell like fresh air in a stuffy room. Apart from the needs of the people suffering from the consequences of the earthquake, personally I would think supporting (prayerfully, financially, emotionally, spiritually) these young people (later on I will share about other teams working in the areas close by) should be given a high priority. Away from family I wonder how often do they visit home? where do they get support financially? What kind of trainings do they receive at the A school? Where do they go after graduation? How were they called into this field? There are still many questions in my mind ... Too bad haven't got any chance to do some personal interviews with them (and all other teachers). Frankly I think they are those people who are in better positions to serve the local people, to spread the great love, to nourish spiritual growths of new born Cs and to build up long term relationship with the locals. They will be leaders, servants, teachers, prophets in many different areas. They are also the next generation c leaders - they will be different from the last generation who went through the cultural revolution and the post revolution prosecution period. They will be challenged by materialism, postmodernism, unity problems and many other issues that are challenging Chinese c in different parts of the world. But the training the get could be much less than those in the rest of the world. Of coz I haven't checked out what is taught in A school so this could be a wrong assumption.

5. Teacher M is a hongkongese. He moved to CD couple years ago and during the earthquake he experienced God a lot. He used to be a secondary school teacher in HK and now they are full time M in that area. When they first introduced their family members I noticed that there are two SC member from his family. This two members from his family have no biological relationship with them. They are from another area famous for tourism and they'd suffered a lot from prosecution (they are very mature actually, talking to them is WAY different from talking to HK/US christians of the same age). I am not going to share the details (which involves some of their background info) but what I can share is the love from this family is beautiful. And they are just a normal family that is filled with God's love - and this makes the difference. I really enjoy hanging out with them, they reminded me of all the nice families in Seattle :)

6. The kids - They are just so cute!!! Frankly I think they are so much lovable than HK kids. They are very obedient to the teachers and they are so active and joyful (all the time). It is very easy to get along with them and to get their attentions. They love to sing and dance and play all sort of games. To me they all have good voices and they can really dance. I wish we have more time to spend with them and to understand them more. And to be honest, people from SiChuan are very beautiful. Different from ppl in the north or in the south, they usually have straight nose and big eyes. Don't believe it? look at the pictures (Please visit facebook ... of my teammates)!

One thing I really want to happen in the kinagarden is playground surfacing with playground safety cushion material. When we played games with the kids some of them get abrasion when they fell on the ground. It is so sad that because of this they can't play 老鷹與小雞 which they really enjoy playing. And also many other games that involve running around. what is the point of having a playground when they can't run freely??!! Of coz this is for the future since this temporary village may not even exist after a few months when the new 北川 is ready.

7. Teammates - they are awesome. Though I didn't know much about them at the beginning somehow it all worked out great and better than I'd expected. Everyone is very 有性格, and has great heart for people. Thank God for this great team!!

多走一哩路 - 首篇

Finally after rounds of editing, here comes my thoughts about my STST 2008. Other team members already shared their stories many of the trip details so I won't repeat the details like where we stayed, what did we eat etc. Instead I focused more on what impacts this trip had for me. Since this is blog is public, I intentionally modified some names for security purpose.

To give those who have never been to SizChuan a brief introduction, we first flew from SZ to ChengDu on the first day and we took a bus straight from the airport to 錦陽. After getting some supplies from WalMart (yes, in China!) we headed off to AC which is where we stayed most of the time during the trip.

Many asked me what did we do in that area. Basically we brought supplies (oil, milk, christmas gifts etc.) to the villagers, helped out the christmas programme, visited the villagers, and just being there to support the field workers. To me, I'd long desired to visit house church in China and to get to know 內地同工 after watching the video "十字架，耶穌在中國". And of coz we were all concerned about the survivors from the earthquake and wished we could be available to them if they need support and encouragement.

So most of the time we spent in a 板房 village "XY". It is one of those village that the Chinese government built to accommodate temporarily survivors from the earthquake. They are much better than tents and have common areas for cooking and there is a public restroom and a library. Just like other areas in China, it is very dusty ... and smelly. Most of the young adults are not in the village. They are probably out in the cities and what are left in the village are children, woman and the elderly. Most of the time they speak SiChuan dialogue though they might understand Mandarin. We are not the only Christian team serving there. There are other teams from HK, Beijing and ChengDu. Some of them are long term and some are short term. A house church is already established and they have meetings on Wed, Fri and Sunday nite.

Apart from 板房, we also visited people living in the mountain (frankly the air is much better in the mountain!) and other villages without 板房. Living conditions are very different but one thing in common is those children seems to be joyful and care free (at least at the time when we visited them) though they don't have much materially.

Different from last year, language is big barrier to me in EZ. Simply because I don't speak any SC language and there could be some misunderstandings from guessing and body languages. Personally I like SC more because it is more cultural and people are nicer than those in CD. And actually I didn't get too sick this time is a great blessing! The temperature is low though, between 1 to 10 degree Celsius. Many many 迦南詩歌 came to me while we are traveling between villages. I suddenly understand the background for those songs - they are so vividly in front of me!

Besides SC language, I am with a team from US (oh, I am from HK!) - which means you got to speak English or Mandarin - different from last year I didn't speak much Cantonese!!

I didn't expect too much from this trip. Simply because I was ill prepared, tired from work, was disconnected from my teammates for a few months (actually I didn't know them much before the trip) and I am still adjusting to life in HK and suddenly I was transferred to a place completely new to me ... but beyond my expectation (超過我們所想所求), I am so glad that I did join this trip. Frankly I want to visit that area again while I am in HK. And from time to time I keep thinking of those teachers and workers who are faithfully serving the people and God amidst of difficulties in financial situations, unity among co-workers, government policies, corruptions ... and many many more.

Okey, there are different chapters for my sharing - I hope what God spoke to us could be some sort of encouragement to you and as we are traveling together on earth, let us 彼此勉勵, 作神忠心的管家.

中國基督教未來之路機遇與挑戰並存

http://www.gospelherald.com.hk/news/chi_113.htm

"Churches are not hotels for saints but hospitals for sinners." - Upper Room Devotional

終於有中文喇！

手寫板確係有Ｄ慢...

when it is too expensive ...

Again channel 20 ...

This is a story about a woman from netherland. She is called to a remote area - Mongolia. I was surprised by those horses running around and people wearing traditional ethnic clothes (they still follow the traditions closely). And she is the only missionary serving there among many villages. It has been difficult for her to meet all the needs. And those new Christians keep going back to the old routines ... There are so many challenges that I was actually quite overwhelmed by the needs and the fact that the reapers are so few. And when she shared about her calling, her feelings and what she'd been through ... it is really something from Jesus's heart. Her life is a perfect reflection of what Jesus did when he was on earth.

"... it hurts me when I know these people have never heard of Jesus and nobody was there to tell them ..."

"... sometimes I feel how expensive it is - to leave your comfort zone and be called to somewhere you don't know until you are about to set off ... when it costs all your goals, your whole life, your emotions, your time ... to follow His will ..." (think about what costs Jesus ...)

"... but I am changed so deeply. I'll never be the same ... and I can't go back (to Netherlands), not that I cannot go back to my home country but I won't be back the same I was"

----------------------- the above was written in August ------------------

Now looking back at what I wrote about this "M" from Europe, it reminds me of my trip to SiChuan. I guess all our team members won't be the same when are back to our family, our work, our church ... less of us, more of Jesus!